Forget what we're told, before we get too old

I am addicted to chasing cars by snow patrol. Whenever I listen to this song I will think of McDreamy in grey's anatomy and of course, I will think of my McDreamy.

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

How I wish we can just lay down and enjoy what we have, it all sounds like a luxury to me. I just know things will never change for us at all.

I am still having nightmares, it's really disturbing. Endless chasing.

If I sum up all the time we spend together, I enjoy 20% of it and as for the rest, I am living in fear. Will you ever go through all the hurdles I am going to (or will) have? I really hope so but who am I bluffing? If he is really McDreamy, will I do what Meredith does? Life is short, why can't I just do what I want?

Where does this lead to? What do I want? I don't know. I am confused.