Post vaccation

I feel great after the trip. But it didn't last long. All the stress starts to build up again. I have been planning my escape route for a long time. Who cares if I escape? as long as it works for me. I want to leave this place for a long time. Too much pressure building in my head. I can't handle it too well. I am just afraid I will go into depression and become suicidal.

Friends in europe are just wonderful. I really appreciate their effort to spend time with me. Planning trips... and activities. Thanks! Love you all! Of course, everyone is worried that I will break down when I see my someone again. No, I am fine. The minute I saw him in the airport, I knew is long gone, totally over. Just long old memories flashing back. I must admit it did hurt a little at the beginning, but it was just seconds. I realised how much I appreciate his honesty. To deliver a cruel fact 2 years ago is better than lying to me like a coward. It's like giving me a head shot is better than slicing small little pieces out of me slowly. I guess we will remain as friends who care for each other and probably will not see each other for the next 10 or 20 years.

Next, Aussie land in Aug.