Generosity & Selfishness

Generosity: Liberality in giving or willingness to give.
Selfishness: Concerned chiefly or only with oneself

Two nights ago, it was sleepless night for me because I was furious. I was angry at sister, because she asked for help from parents. I was angry at my mom because she gave them all she could give without thinking about herself. I was angry at brother in law for not handling the situation better. I was angry at myself, for not able to help anyone in anyway.

After giving some thoughts, I realised situation might not be as simple as I had seen it. Sister must have no choice but to turn to my parents. I feel sorry for a pregnant woman who has to go through all these stress!

Met up with mom for dinner hopeing to cheer her up a little. She was feeling better than I though and now I feel bad for being so angry at my sis. Problems like this will arise again if the underlying cause is not fixed. I can't do anything or I don't care because is not my problem. Am I being selfish? If I step in to comment, am I being busy body? What kind of life is my sister living? Suddenly, she becomes so distant. Have we changed beyong recognition? Am I being a drama queen?

I feel fine now. Will it ever happen again? If yes, how will I behave? At the moment I heard about this news, I just want to run away as I don't want to see the outcome. Afraid I will feel disappointed once again. It hurts to see my parent disappointed expression.

Take it or leave it

Done quite a bit of ridiculous things this week. Blame it on the hormones, its PMS and my bitch genes are highly expressed! Had a scolding session on mon night when an ass called to explained why he didn't have the time to reply messages.

Outcome: I gave him a good scolding session for half an hour with a lot of F words used. I feel so much better as I gave him a piece of my mind. He insisted he was there when I needed a listening ear. Well, compare to the time I spent listening to his relationship problems, mine is peanuts.

Conclusion: he is a natural born asshole.

Another incident happend when you sent me the pictures taken in the beautiful glacier. The girls in the pictures made me feel shitty. The girls were not even close to you. But....ya.... I don't know why I felt that way. Although its short lived, something is just not right for me. FUCK.

Attended a dear friend wedding dinner last night. I enjoyed myself. I am happy to see her and her hubby enjoying themselves after a long and stressful ( I guess) preparation. It wasn't a small event, imagine have 270 people gathered together and eating a massive dinner together. There are plenty of bitches out there to make comments. See.. this always will be a lesson to learn, treat this as a mirror. Do not behave like them! If one is ready to make a comment on others work, please swallow it.. jolly well do it yourself! Don't be a bitch to strangers.

Bad news from Uncle Tim this afternoon dampen my mood for the day. Aunt Kitty isn't responding to chemotherapy and they are going to Beijing to seek for althernative treatment. Why does good people have to suffer from these shit after they have contributed so much to the community and their family? Sickness will hit them when they are ready to settle down, relax and enjoy the rest of their lives. Imagine the impact when your doctor tell you to spend the next few months in pain. If this is what most of us will end up with, is it blessed to go painlessly in an accident? This type of news is not unusal to us nowadays. Everytime it has the same effect on me. I wish her all the best!

Top of the world

Went for my virgin personal training today. ULTRA TIRING! But its good to know there are certain parts/muscles of my body are under utilised!

Have you ever talk to someone and their responses was "yes... no.. arr.. hmm.." well.. or simply ignore you (it applies to IM and sms). How do we determine if we are over friendly? until its annoying... or the person you trying to talk to is an ass hole? Ass hole 1... log on to instant messager when they are busy and give you a Q&A session when you try to strike a conversation. For fuck sake, Bloody log off and finish your work! Oh well there are another type of people (ass hole 2), who filter who they want to talk to whom think they are Paris hilton or Brad Pitt?

Lots of weirdos in this world. I read this in a magazine "While sitting on top of the world, remember, you will be at the bottom in 24 hours" What goes around comes around. May someone ignore those people I mentioned above.

Gong xi fa chai

Its another chinese new year! According to the feng shui book my sister read, my luck will be worse than people who were born in the year of dog (who is fan tai shui). hmm what can I do rite? I have been eating so much since 2 days before the new year starts. So full... indigestion. All the chinese new year goodies are so yummy, how can I resist?

Like past years, we don't have any relatives we need to visit in singapore. Its just another day for me to be a couch potato.

Saw my bro-in-law friend last night. I have been always wanted to ask for his no. but just no chance! What can I do now? Frustrated!