你,我

I worried for things I shouldn't have. I did things I shouldn't do. I care for a person whom doesn't deserve and appreciate. I'm vulnerable.

Why do we always meet people who hurt us? Are there so many nasty people out there? Or we just ask for too much? I've learnt not to get over excited whenever I meet someone new. They all, somehow just turn out to be another bastard. Why can't we just BE the one in the happy picture that appear on advertisment? Is it so hard to live happily ever after?

I forgot.

Six beer down my tummy. I survived without any merlion stunt. Good on me! Spinned myself to the bed and slept till 11, NICE! Being very me, I cannot remember what exactly happened after my 4th drink. Just remembered I acted sober and made my way to grab a cab without anyone's help. wooo-hoo.... My head is still spinning in the morning. Am I alcohol intoxicated? hmm...

Is it time to search for another job? argh.

Is my intinct right? Qs filled my head, shit is going to happen. Shit happens so often, so quick or many at the same time, don't even allow me to fight it. Done something I may regret. A friend told me off and I thank her for that. I may fall into the same old shit hole all over again. Or am I there already?

Liar liar

I wonder if anyone has lied something so big that he/she cannot handle it? Wishing one day MIB will zap everyone with the tourch and will forget what had happened...including themselves.

There must be a reason for someone to lie. Inferior? Fear to hurt others feeling, blah X3. I guess, the outcome will be the same cos sooner or later, people will find out. Ugly huh?

How would you react when you see someone lying right in front of ya? I would call that "thing" a creature *similar* to human being without balls and brain who has no guts to admit what he had done. Shit at where you eat is a no-no. Mess with someone at work? that's called stupidity. Pushing the blame to the other party saying she is loose. I don't know how do you call that jerk without balls? Is there any better word?

ya-dah ya-dah

I survived the journey to KL. YES! Everytime I visit this city in Malaysia. I just like it more. For some unfortunate tourists who dislike this place, please try again. Make sure you go to the right place. I had a pampering trip this time, not so much on shopping, and of course eat eat and eat....... My favorite KL food, like yong dou fu and chi cheong fun. YUM! Good food can be found in mahmah store or kopi tiam, not neccessarily in nicely deco restaurants. So, there isn't a need to boast which expensive restaurants you've been to.

Been catching up with friends and realised people leaving Melbourne. Ironic isn't it? People are leaving before I even touch the ground of aussie land!

Finally completed most of the major tasks at work and presented to boss. I feel a tinch of satistifaction again. Maybe after all, my work is not so bad, got to be contented with what I have right? Remember when I first started working, salary was much lower but somehow, I survived! Even paid my parents back for the aussie education. No matter how much we earn, somehow, we just don't feel enough because we have constant needs to satisfy. Things that are not are needed in basic living. Work to live or live to work? Just like a rabbit with a carrot hanging in front of it to keeps it running. When we complain we are broke, did we put ourselves into such shit hole? Do we need to stay in such big place in expensive area? Do we need a car? a maid? Flat screen TV? MP3 player? latest handphone? blah blah blah.. there's no ending. Then, we will start to think of getting a better pay job. Don't get me wrong, getting a better job for career development is a + point. Anyway, life goes on. WTF?

Not again

Shit happens, and now it seems to be happening to the people around me. Similar scenario, different people, same type of pain and I know it hurts. I am afraid this is some sort of signs that something major (bad of course) is going to happen to me. Me allowing a different person to hurt me? with same type of pain. I am not sure if I ever be able to pick myself up again if it ever happen.

Am going to KL for a short break this weekend. I realised it was almost a year ago when we went there. Time flies.

I was informed my submitted article was rejected. will try other journals, but that also means I will have to work with my ex-sup again. I am reluctant and I am bias. Knowing his working style, he is going to piss me off once again very soon.

I complain too much. I know. Just imagine, with nice and patient people surrounding you. Does a bitter bitch stand out in the crowd? Why do we have to stay quiet about things that do not meet our standards? Is that considered being nice? Or just being a loser who afriad to speak up?

Time's up

Watched X-men3 tonight. It was an entertaining show. At one part of the show when Magneto lifted the golden gate bridge, there was a group of chinese looking tourists looking shock. I, was the only one burst out laughing (+ shaking as usual) in the threater. Cos, it's so stupid and redundent! JT, I laughed too. You were not the only one.

Work load has been quite heavy these few weeks. I was sitting down on train last night on my way home, stared at the orange moon and wondered what did I do for the whole day in lab? When work load is getting heavy, I wonder if I can handle the stress. When I am free at work, I can't stand the bordem. I am too difficult to please, maybe. Or is it just a sign that I have to leave this place asap? Increment is based on the no. of years spent on this company, not by performance (well not that I can see so far). I lost my faith in any opportunity will be given to me for attending overseas conferences, or any training course almost 2 years ago. Oh well, I shall not sulk about it since I am still getting the wedges. Shall I be a slacker? since the pay and increment will be the same. Time's up.

World cup fever

Once in 4 year football event is happening in Germany now. I am not a football fan, hardly watch any English Premiere League or local matches. Since world cup is once in every 4 years, I shall watch some of the matches. Opening match was Germany playing with Costa Rica and tonight, England with Paraguay. From a non-football fan point of view, both matches are not fantastic. Not sure what the others will think?

After watching the matches, I wonder, if we have a detector to collect all the noises (and sum all up) made by the fans around the world when a goal was strike, how loud will it be? hahaha silly though. I watched the opening match with 5 other germans. I was scared that if germany win/lose, THEY are going crash on my when cheering *since I look like a human miniature among them anyway*. Glad I came home in one piece.

One observation I have when I visited a bar last night. I saw a few groups of not so appealing people together. Do ugly people more likely to hang out with ugly people? I am not classifying people here. Sadly, in this era and society, we have to look good no matter what, in order to survive. In terms of relationship (you physically got to look goodto attract a decent man), business (products have to look good). First to catch the attention then we get to know it better. Can I say we are all shallow then?

Bad day

What is considered a bad way to start your day?

Meeting weirdos/fashion victims/smelly people/space intruder in the train? (hmm ya kinda)
Stepped on my feet when wearing my birkie (YES!)
Fell down on the over head bridge ( BAD to the ultimate!!!)

OK.. I trip on the steps with my short legs.. and no one helped me up other then ang mo asked if I was ok.. ( i wished i can dig a hole there and then)

Saw a girl helplessly falling for a player. Friend and I thought we have to do something about it. She reminded so much of myself; wanted to do something to prevent someone from stepping onto a shit hole. But I guess, there is so much that we, the outsiders can do. Sad isn't it? We can't do anything but watch another soap opera to start.

THAT, make me ponder, are we asians, not suitable at all to date any ang mo? ahh... who cares? as long as we are happy. Anything is possible!