I am happy

I have learnt to avoid doing things I shouldn't be doing.

Don't think of things I shouldn't be thinking. It adds on my emotional burden and it makes me unhappy.
Don' do things I shouldn't be doing. Although I still smoke.
Don't talk about things I shouldn't be talking about. Maybe keeping how I feel in my head is a better way out.

Sometimes I feel I throw myself back into the net to get caught. My brain is eating me. It may sounds serious but it does sometimes. Of course, I still have full control of my action. 3lbs organ is responsible for every action we do. Amazing!

I am happy in general. Acting normal at least. But I am starting to feel the stress when people ask me about me going to Australia. Have you found a job yet? How do your parents feel? How's the application... blah blah blah... Not that I hate them, I appreciate their concern. It just make me feel worry about my future. Leaving here may not be the best, but I know it will be a good change for me. I want to leave things behind and not think about it. Put it behind me and be able to never look back. I know I will feel the numb and stupidity one day, but the time is not now.

A cute little diamond hanging on my neck. I am happy. Be it true or deceiveing myself to stay happy that way. I don't care. I don't want to think too much about everything now.

It's another week ahead.

Time

By the time I am logged on to blogger, all that little something up in my head to be written down are gone. Xian!

Once again, I feel alittle more motivated at work as boss gave me something new to do and it has been getting quite good results. Of course I need to work harder on that but... how much I can give, seriously?

I feel much more relived when heard about my dear childhood friend condition has improved. Thank you to the doctor who is taking care of him in HK.

Sometimes things just happen over spilt seconds. Can we turn back time to undo awefully wrong things we have done? If given a chance, will you undo it even you know it is wrong? We may ask how did it happen? Is it meant to be like this? I am no saint. Desire overcome my conscience... all the time. I maybe losing myself but does it mean I am a evil bastard or just being weak?

How are you?

How prepared are you to see your friend torture by sickness? I am not ready. I hate to hear bad news. Once again I feel so small, unable to do anything, not even offering a helping hand because I am so far away from them. The news seems so strange to be heard as I take it for granted that my friends will be healthy and happy. To all my friends out there whom I have not send my regards to lately, please take care and I wish you well.